1 aug 22

Realization of the Day: Living in a state of confusion

Wake up shaking, sweat dripping down my spine.
I can’t escape the anxiety of decision making even at night.
Choose this. Pick that. Say this. Are you going to wear that hat?
It’s all too much.
I just need a moment of silence.

At least when it’s time to work they set me up with checklists and to dos.
It’s the only time I can function without the constant fear of taking my choices down from 45 to 2.

Eh, and please for the life of me don’t ask me out on a date.
I’ll get lost between the uncertainty and I really don’t want to… not seem rude. So, I’ll say yes then blow you off because I’m unsure of what that future might come to.

If I could find a little island where I can isolate and allow my mind to slow.
Just enjoy the breeze, palm trees, and nature.
It’d be so wonderful.

Day 4:
Opened my eyes and scream “No More!”
In reality, it’s going to take time.
Give me a year or 3 or 4.